Oct
24

A Man Speaks Out: Gentlemen, Come Out of The Man Cave

Much has been written and discussed lately about the idea of the so-called 'Man Cave’. There are websites, books and TV shows dedicated to the phenomenon (see DIY Network's Man Caves co-hosted by former NFL player Tony “The Goose” Siragusa), disambiguating the look of a bro-ed out sanctuary: La-Z-Boy, check; beer fridge, check; Scarface poster, obviously.


Sean Connery in Dr. No (1962) via Jashan.org

So you, grown man, have been granted a little plot in your house that’s all yours. Somewhere you could hang your Lamborghini posters without embarrassing your wife? Your own tree fort. No girls allowed! You realize this is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard, right?

This phenomenon is not new. Visit any old house that still has a study, a library or a basement bar and it’s clear that men have long been carving out masculine spaces for themselves. But why does this recent man-cave trend feel so much more pathetic and juvenile? 

I realize we married men can often feel like guests in our own homes, having lost the wood-paneled den and rec room to the 'craft room' or the in-home yoga studio, but you have to admit that living with a woman has undeniably raised our standard of living. I was able to spell ‘Lamborghini’ in the second paragraph without the aid of spell check because I had a Countach poster on my bedroom wall when I was 9. My friends and I had a great apartment during university that featured girlie posters, a football-shaped cooler and a chalkboard to keep track of Super Mario Kart lap times. It also featured a hole in the wall from a bag of sugar being thrown through it, and it constantly smelled like a bar (and not a nice bar). Tree forts were fun, but it's time to move on.


Eames Lounger via Incipe Industries blog

Listen, if your own home is so unbearable that you have to flee to a specially designed bunker, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your home. The living room was traditionally a more masculine domain, so why not start there? People in the '60s and '70s knew how to hang out, so take some cues from that era. Forget your Carolina Panthers beer fridge and get a vintage bar cart. Swap out the nightmarish, puffy recliner for an Eames Lounger (you’ll feel like Bond-era Sean Connery, and your midday drinking won’t look out of place). And remember, the expression is not ‘A man’s re-purposed corner of the garage is his castle'...



Paul Beer is a Toronto writer, actor and comedian. You can follow him on twitter @pauldanielbeer. Read his posts every Friday on Slice.ca.


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