We went for our access visit to our new home last week to measure doorways and hallways (to make sure certain furniture pieces could easily pass through) and brought along our painter so he could tally up an estimate for us. We also brought two of our kids (one daughter who hadn't seen the home yet), and a close friend who will be my new neighbour. In addition to our crew, the home owner stayed during our visit (I think she was concerned about her many, many pets) as well as her real estate agent and our real estate agent. So, truth be told, it was a gong show. An absolute circus. I'll admit we brought a lot of people, but these visits are meant to be used to allow contractors and painters access to provide you with estimates and to show family your new home, as well as for us to measure, which is hard to do if the home owner is standing around chatting or peering over your shoulder. As far as I know, the home owners and agents should make themselves scarce.

Oh well. We did learn a lot. For instance, the daughter who saw the house for the first time declared she "hated" it, that she liked absolutely nothing about it, while her older sister, when told we'd decided to paint all the wood trim in this lovely old Toronto home, angrily declared I knew "NOTHING" about home decor and design and how could I possibly consider painting wood?? Please remember she's 11 and clearly watches way too much HGTV. Admittedly, our painter and the current owner were aghast that we were considering painting wood. We might be outnumbered...

OK, so last week I promised you a collection of moving horror stories from friends and co-workers and I shall not disappoint. We are into the final four-week stretch of moving preparations, which means making sure the lawyer has everything he needs, contacting all our utilities providers, and packing packing packing. Hopefully, if I carry on like this, I can avoid some of the scenarios below: 

Horror Story 1: "The worst move I ever had, I was moving between floors in residence during the summer when the regular units were rented to backpackers. I thought it would be easy to book an elevator and easily move my belongings down in one or two trips, but it ended up being a four-hour ordeal because the elevator was double-booked and I had to make regular trips. I was dragging laundry bins and furniture into elevators. It was a disaster!"

Horror Story 2: "The delivery guys from a certain Swedish furniture retailer almost got my wife and I booted from our new condo a week after we moved in. They mangled the elevator trying to force a couch into it and then proceeded to drag it up the stairwell scratching paint and knocking down exit signs as they went. Once at our front door, one of them proudly told me that he’d told our new super to “shove it” when she asked them to be careful, and then demanded an additional $30 a flight for every flight of stairs past the second floor (we live on the 4th floor). I paid them because they were huge and frightening and in my living room, and then paid the damage bill that was slid under our door two weeks later. I would have rather brought the couch home on the subway myself."

Horror Story 3: "We hired a moving company that charged by the hour. Shortly after the movers arrived, the broke their rolling dolly (its strap got caught in the elevator door, which ripped it off). They had to lug all of the boxes one by one by hand, and the move took three to four times the estimate. Of course, they charged us for the whole thing and a raging argument ensued."

Horror Story 4: "I had corporate movers (move me from Montreal to Toronto) and they packed my kitchen garbage in with my suits, then delayed the truck by several days. I had to threaten that if they didn't arrive by Sunday night, I would bill the moving company as I had to go out and buy new suits for work because I didn't hold back any emergency clothing!!"

Horror Story 5: "I once locked myself out during a move. Crazy thing was, the door had been installed with the hinges on the OUTSIDE, so we were able to take them off and remove the whole door to get back in. Added an extra half hour or so. Luckily it was my mom and stepdad who were the movers, not "paid" help!"

Here is my nightmare moving scenario: On moving day, we are perfectly prepared, our movers arrive on time, get everything in the truck, but when we arrive at our new home, the previous owners are delayed hours and hours and we have to pay for our guys to sit around waiting to move us in! This must happen to people! And I can't see any way to prepare for this... except crossing my fingers.

Last week:  The Devil's in the Details

Reni Walker (AKA Scotch Mommy on slice.ca) shares her moving mayhem on Wednesdays.